Wednesday, October 1, 2008


A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.

George Santayana

Earlier this week we talked about five basic principles that should be taught in the home. These principles can only be reinforced in church or school, but the model of what they learn comes from home. The first principle is the principle of love.

The second basic principle of raising good kids is teaching them the principle of justice. Even in the early years kids learn that life is not fair. And that statement is true, but still there is a sense of justice or fairness we need to instill in our kids that begins in the home. This comes down to the golden rule:

Be nice to others
As you would like
Others to be nice to you
Be helpful to others
As you would like
Others be helpful to you

It’s the Golden Rule
Follow it every day
It’s the Golden Rule
And happiness will come your way

Be kind to others
As you would like
Others to be kind to you
Be loving to others
As you would like
Others to be loving to you

As parents we need to model how to be nice, how to be helpful, and how to be kind. What attitudes do your kids see you display after the front door is closed? Do we respect each child and treat them fairly? If we want them to learn these traits we need to display them in our homes. Are you kind to your spouse? Do you treat others in the family as you want to be treated?

On the flip side, as parents we can make the mistake of placing unfair expectations on our children. We should not be surprised or embarrassed if our kids are acting like kids. If there is a child that screams out in church, don’t be surprised or look down on the parents. Kids will act like kids.

Sometimes we expect more from others than we expect of ourselves.
We can fall in the trap of expecting traits from our kids that are not being modeled for them. Yes there needs to be boundaries and guidelines, but as parents we need to make sure we are not placing unfair expectations on our kids.

One of the frustrations I found in being a parent is becoming upset at a child when I saw the same weakness I had, being displayed in my child. If I felt insecure in certain situations, I wanted my child to be more assertive. I had to learn to stop placing unreal expectations on my child. You would think since I had the same weakness I would be understanding, instead I had the faulty thinking that if I “encouraged them more” they would not have suffer with the same weakness I did.

Yes life is not fair, but there needs to be a foundation of raising our kids under a principle of justice. Come back for principle three later this week….

As a parent or as a child growing up have you ever struggled with unfair expectations?

1 comment:

His Mercies are new everyday! Thank you for your comment!